romantic evening with jason.... we leave our kids with the in-laws and were headed off to jason's hockey game in delisle. hoping for a nice bonding time of heartfelt conversation.

jason goes to the rink to pack up equipment, then is coming to pick me up. i get in the truck and sitting, completely squished in, are three men. yee-ha!!! now i have a two hour drive with 'Big B' (that name should say it all, but in case it doesn't, he's a three hundred pound guy who hauls pigs), Jim (65 years old and i've never heard him speak, even now) and the coach, Lynn (who just got a satellite road and all he wants was for Jason to turn the radio to maxim, howard stern, or raw dog comedy channel)

so this is great conversation for two hours and then the whole game i was dreading the two hours on the way home.

now, tell me, do i not have a romantic husband??? in all fairness, he just has a kind heart, unlike myself, and felt sorry for them and offered them a ride.

potatoe salad.... some just have to have it. well, my hubby is one of those who will eat it at all costs. and now, it has claimed him twice with 12 hour fits of very violent puking.... but the love affair lives on.

jason decided to not take a lunch i had so graciously offered to make him, 'because big boys don't take bag lunches to their hockey games', so instead he dove into a 23 day old sub from 7 eleven and some 'grey' potatoe salad. quite satisfied, he topped that off with some wings later on in the evening and then for the frosting on the cake, potatoe wedges dipped in ranch dressing.

he gets home from his game around 1:30 in the morning, and is just tossing and turning, trying his best to keep all that good nutrition in his belly. finally, the battle ends at 4:00 am and the whole house is woken up to what we all believe to be someone stabbing him to death. this continued, on the hour, every hour, until i took him at 5:00 the next evening to the hospital for a gravel needle. it had to be done, there was only so much puking i could listen too.

i do feel sorry for him though, cuz i was not very sympathetic, seeings how he did bring this on himself and forced me to take two kids to church by myself.

i also have concluded that men are horrible pukers.... they think truly that they are going to die, like puking alone has claimed millions of lives and they are next. he gets the usual 'i puked for three months with brandon and three months with ethan, don't even tell me you can't move!!!'

i know, you all feel sorry for jason and want to come and pamper him because he deserves better!!! i've heard it before, from the nurses at the hospital to everyone i know.... don't even tell me!!

afraid of the wind... anyone else? very, very afraid. both my boys are sick today, it's very windy, and jason is leaving tonight to play hockey... i'm already anticipating being afraid. i know, get over it, but this fear of wind has been with me ever since as a young gal i watched that horrible movie twister - brutal.

anyways, had a very exciting experience with my eldest, brandon, at his little 'canskate' practice. he skated by himself across the width of the rink!! very exciting.

i just had my first basketball practice yesterday - sr girls - and boy was it fun. and embarrassing. of course i'm like the fat mom there trying to run with the girls because i need to loose the baby fat. i would tell them to run say an eight (eight lengths of the gym) and i would jump in for the last four or two and they would all still beat me... after which i would yell at all of them " who here has had two babies? i didn't think so... i'll talk to you after you give up your body for two snotty nosed boys!!!" and then, during any drill if i was demonstrating something and messed up, i'd just say "two babies!!!" i'm sure they all don't think i'm pathetic. i just like to try to inspire in my coaching role!!

talk to you later...

if i could have my dream occupation (other than this dream that i'm living in as we speak!!)... definitely like a pastry chef or some sort of chef at a nice restaurant. love to bake. it's a little embarrassing because my only audience today was ethan and i had to bribe him with smarties to watch me bake. i put all the ingredients into little glass containers and then told him how to make the world's best oatmeal cookie!! he then started hitting me with a wooden spoon.

i also find that jason never can complement me enough on my baking or cooking!! poor jason... i know you are all thinking it. he and my brother ryan and brandon came home after watching a football game and i had clam chowder, carrot cake, cookies and surprise spread for them and jason might have said thank you twice... i told him ten times would be acceptable!! poor jason!

if i could have my dream occupation (other than this dream that i'm living in as we speak!!)... definitely like a pastry chef or some sort of chef at a nice restaurant. love to bake. it's a little embarrassing because my only audience today was ethan and i had to bribe him with smarties to watch me bake. i put all the ingredients into little glass containers and then told him how to make the world's best oatmeal cookie!! he then started hitting me with a wooden spoon.

i also find that jason never can complement me enough on my baking or cooking!! poor jason... i know you are all thinking it. he and my brother ryan and brandon came home after watching a football game and i had clam chowder, carrot cake, cookies and surprise spread for them and jason might have said thank you twice... i told him ten times would be acceptable!! poor jason!

ok, so jason went hunting the great 'moose' and i'm stuck at home with two boys for four days. and i'm still up at quarter to twelve, just putting the final 'touches' on my ladies meeting agenda for tomorrow night. yes, i'm the kelfield ladies group president... need i say more. we're doing the cs lewis book mere christianity - amazing. just reading about love being an act of the will, not a feeling, which is really good to read when your husband leaves you for a moose for four days.
so, my last blog (jacqui loves it when i say that word) was about how your past affects you so much, but i just learnt at sunday school today that "you are not a product of your past, but a product of Christ's work done for you on the cross" ok, so that means we need to start our thinking at the cross i guess.
i didn't feel like i'd win any awards on motherhood today - when jason was leaving church today to go hunting, i got like this panic attack, kinda started into a pretty horrible crying session, and quickly grabbed my kid's from my mother-in-law, bribing them both with halloween candy, and left the church bawling!! i'm sure that wasn't at all scary for my three year old and one year old boys!! oh well, i have to keep thinking that God gave me kids for a reason, not just as some cruel joke to show how inadiquate i am.
better go, this could be one ugly mother dropping her kid off at playschool in the morning. it's yellow day - very exciting, i'm thinking about putting on candice's bridesmaid dress to drop him off - i'll think a little more about that.
HOORAY FOR THE SAN DIEGO CHARGERS but boo for my poor PACKERS

when you live somewhere, no matter how big or small, i think you sorta start believing that your way of life is 'normal' or the right way, but it's always good to see other ways of life, get out of your own situation for awhile, so you can learn new things.
i went to three hills and calgary this weekend and, man, city life is different. just so many young people without kids and always on the go. staying at home for an entire day would probably send someone to the nut house, where i can stay home for 2-3 days without venturing out of my yard.
it was interesting though, because i do believe still that there is a difference between male and female - talking to my friend stacy - and it's undeniable that the way you are raised affects who you are, now matter what!!
women have been raised to see their dad's protecting and taking care of their moms and men have been raised seeing their dad's provide and protect. it's in your brain. BUT i do know that jason does alot of things he didn't grow up with, so change is possible, but it's just that, CHANGE. a man is not naturally going to clean up around the house or make a meal and a woman doesn't want to take the garabage out or scrape the windsheild or unclog the sewer. these things can change b/c jason does get up the kids in the night or change the odd diaper, but it hasn't happened naturally - only with nagging in the beginning!! it just made me think to not be upset that jason doesn't want to to "womanly' thinks naturally and to appreciate the change he's been willing to undergo.

well,
jason is finally done harvest - he might custom combine for a guy next week, but that's it. now he has a
ton of grain to get rid of.
so, he took the boys to the farm this morning and i get to have a coffee, some banana bread (i know, i used
to gag at the sight of a banana) and spend some time on the computer. nice.
i was watching oprah yesterday and there was the author of the book 'a million little pieces' which i now want
to read. oprah has a way of making you want to do what she is doing. this author was addicted to alcohol and
drugs and said that during his rehab he went with the motto 'hold on' he says that every addiction, whether it
be food, chemical, or alcohol, is emotional and that if you are feeling an emotion it will make you want a quick fix to make the emotion go away, but if you can just hold on through that emotion, you can conquer your addictions.
so mine is food - ya - and when i'm bored, lonely, thinking i either had a crappy day or a good day and wanting a reward - i go for the halloween candy or a pepsi (ya, it's pepsi now)
so now i'm trying to 'hold on' we'll see how that goes.
he also said that when he was little, he would watch his parents at parties and notice that when they drank, they would become happy - so he started to link drinking to being happy. makes me wonder how many little kids out there are recieving the wrong message - that drinking leads to happiness. kids can pick up on things like that at such a young age.
well, gotta go do some mom work - iron, vacuum, dust - and then reward myself with some halloween candy!!

brandon is going to be playing hockey this winter - we'll see how that goes. he is going to be on a pre-intitiation team (probably spelt that wrong) that is sorta like when your boyfriend gives you a pre-promise ring!!
anyways, we're pumped about it. i think it's a league where they tape a stick to their arm and they all push a chair around!
jason wants to fill our quanset up with water to make a rink... sounds like a foolproof idea to me.
ethan can throw a full size football up into the air and catch it... something i still struggle with.
well, i have to go cook a meal for the men in the field (me and martha)
i thought today, here i used to want to be a lawyer and now i clean, do laundry, cook, clean and nag. what has my life come too!?! they say that being a mom is the hardest job... it's because it's a constant battle to stay sane. jason says it's the highest calling a woman could have (he just wants me to make a good supper)
last night two hunters from utah stopped in... we live on a farm and no one 'stops in'... so of course i met them at the door with a gun. it's so wierd that just 6 years after being in college i am talking to hunters about duck and geese flight patterns and am showing off my husband's dead deer head while he is out killing another helpless animal that i will have to eat!! crazy what you will do when you fall helplessly in love.

my kids are insane!!!

ethan is my youngest and he has these big brown eyes that he knows how to use. we usually start the morning with him crying, then i try to bring him to my bed, then he usually hits me with his huge melon and we get up. then he throws most of his breakfast on the floor or hides it under his tray. the rest of the day is a struggle for power between him and I - and he is the one with the big brown eyes so you can guess who wins that battle.

today brandon was at a buddy's house and when i went to pick him up, he yelled at me, hid under a bench, ran away from the car, and then was crying so hard on the way home he threw up in the car. GREAT!! i put him in his bedroom and called jason at the farm and told him that when he got home, he had to think of a good punishment because i just wanted to strangle him!! i think the Lord was helping me to stay calm and not go into the room! i was so humiliated because every mom wants to think that they have things under control, but i don't and i fail and it's just a day by day journey i guess.

i was on the internet looking for hotels in vancouver to go and visit jason's sister angie and mike and their two kids, but then i got distracted by cruise vacations in the bahamas... oops!!

so long,...

ok... this is what jenny is doing and i wanted to be able to comment on her blog, so i had to open one and here it is. i thought i'd try it, but the last successful diary i had was when i was dating jason and that is just so embarrassing that i don't know why i am doing this.
something on my mind over thanksgiving and during harvest here is everyone thinks that they are the busiest person on the earth and that no one has a tougher life than they do - including myself.
i'm trying to figure out how to tell people what's happening in your life without sounding like you are the only one with a life.
well, i have to go, have to make supper for 5 men for tomorrow night because i have to take two kids to a wedding by myself and then clean a 2000 square foot house that has four sinks that my husband finds a way to shave in every one!! (see, i don't think i'm busy!)