winning isn't everything???

'winning isn't everything???'

what do you believe???

why do we put ourselves in sports, music, school, dance, business, art....

what is the goal if not to win???

so, i was watching Master Class on OWN network (it's a young lady named Oprah that started her own network in case you hadn't heard)... it was featuring Jay Z... love Jay Z... i know - kinda strange and you probably don't want to picture me dancing or 'getting my groove on' to "i got 99 problems.." hehe...

ok - so Jay Z says "i believe you only learn through failure"

and i say to myself "i believe every word Jay Z and Oprah say!!!"

but hold it... you cannot learn through success and winning??? that's silly... eventually all those learning moments created by failure should lead to success and winning correct???

i remember being at a football game and this guy was sitting beside me and was saying how during his high school football career the team lost a lot... i said, "what did you learn through that?" and he said, "nothing.... " he continued by saying, "you know how you learn?? you surround yourself with a good group of people, you dedicate yourself to greatness and working hard, get a good coach... and win... and then you learn"

now... i think there are times that you definitely have something to learn through failure...

i truly believe that everyone has purpose and a calling and if you stay in a situation that isn't working... you might never get to realize what you were put here on earth to do!!! that comes with age though i suppose...

now i'm trying to apply this concept to my 'golf game'... hehe.... and i'm totally backtracking and thinking it's fine to be in something and not win... just for the fun of it!!! i like to golf - until the 6th hole... then it bores me... and i'm not very good... understatement... so should i give it up??? well, perhaps professionally yes... but it's still a good activity for me to go out and do with friends right???

it's also annoying if you want to say play slow pitch recreationally and your teammate (let's call him Jason Kelly) decides that he wants to win and ruins it for you cuz you are horrible and are holding the team back from it's goal to win!!! (this only happened once by the way... i do love him still)...

so winning in team endeavours involves the top players learning how to be good teammates to the 'role' players (that's what Jason now calls me!!! hehe) and thus those top players becoming better teammates and people and the 'role' players becoming better at what they do!!!

another argument for winning would be that 'winning is contagious'... meaning... if young children watch older ones win at a certain sport or do well at certain activities or school... they will have this drive put in them that they are not satisfied with anything less than success and will push themselves until they achieve it...

this applies to my children a bit... i believe they can't really become passionate and successful at something unless the parent puts the effort and love into it... piano... for the boys... i hated piano growing up - HATED IT... but i thought it was only right for me to put the boys in piano... they hate it... i know they can sense that i'm not in love or passionate with 'ticklin the ivories' (really hope that's a saying)...

same thing with reading... unless it's a magazine or the occasional book that intrigues me (pirates or cowboys rescuing a damsal in distress)... not interested in reading - not when i could be watching the celebrity apprentice!!!... so, my boys, they read... 20 min a day cuz they have to... not out of love or passion..

this is my and Jason's fault i believe... can't really expect the youngin's to be interested in things we can't even fake interest in!!!

i've also seen examples of men (in particular) that perhaps didn't win at enough things when they were young and take any recreational sports activity way too seriously!!!! a nice game of lawn darts can turn into a death match!!!! (i'm finally not picking on my hubby here... )

does winning build character??? i believe it does... probably only if you do loose occasionally though... it's like a rich person thinking they 'know' what a poor person is going through... um, nope you don't, unless you've been poor... you need to know how to win gracefully - probably only achievable if you've lost and it's hurt... winning and the attempt and goal to win can develop a courageousness and gutsiness in you... it can make you strong and determined to always get better... it can give you an edge to go the extra mile... (it could also make you complacent, lazy, cocky, and give you a false sense of self if you allow it too!)

would you rather be the underdog or the favorite??? some love to be the underdog so they can say this should never have happened and they over achieved... others have the strength to be the favorite and then deal with loss if things fall apart...

are there more important things in life than winning??? and sports for that matter??? of course there are... getting the cure for AIDS... getting clean drinking water to those that need it... being a good friend, a good family member... but what do you do if you put yourself in a competitive situation??? think about drinking water or try to win???

a person needs to be well rounded - with many different interests... for instance, i like to garden, organize (this is a full time hobby), run, shop, cook, and nag my husband.... but get me in a game of hearts and i want to win... rather than loose i'd like to win... but if i don't win (and after consoling myself with a box of toffifee chocolates)... i still have shoes to think about and a husband to yell at!!!

my conclusion...

winning is not everything... unless you loose all the time... then all you can think about is winning!!! :) i would never choose to loose and if i was loosing constantly (say at pie baking competitions or something) i would decide to put my energy into something i could occasionally win at!!! (say soup making competitions!) some take winning to a weird, crazy, frantic level that is hard to deal with (me every christmas with board games) and it needs to be simmered down!!!

so i will go with winning is half the battle... the other half is to become who you were put on earth to be and to bless others through this...

ps... i have the right to change my mind on this completely if someone sheds some insight i haven't considered... and not feel like a failure!!! hehe...