you can't stop or out yell.... a yeller...

so - before i had my boys in hockey - i had heard stories of hockey parents yelling at their children... screaming horrible things like 'you are horrible' at their tiny little offspring out on the cold ice...

i thought i'd only ever be filled with pride and amazement watching my children learn the game...

until the first game... brandon was 4... and i couldn't seem to help myself... it was like i was being taken over and i had to yell, cheer, clap (note to self - get good clapping mittens), and critique every moment he was on the ice...

thank goodness he was on a large enough team that i got a few 'breathers' when he was on the bench!!!


so - this is just a thought to all those hockey yelling parents out there...

first of all - i get it  - i understand the urge to yell at your child... like you've never messed up in your own personal life and you have every right to yell at them publicly...  i just did it last saturday...

second of all - has anyone ever out yelled you and stollen your thunder??? and it was like you didn't even know where to go from there???

i'm one of the top yellers in my town... this was pointed out to me at the novice game on saturday... they didn't give me an award or anything (as i thought might be appropriate)...  instead just merely pointed out that i do not stop talking or yelling...

and then the question was asked "what do your boys think of that?"

well... i'm sure when they hear me they are mad... embarrassed... resigned to the fact that i'm loud...

on the flip side... you just don't hear kids having the conversation "so when you scream at your mom, throw your shoes, lay on the ground and hold your breath till you turn blue, what does your mom think about that?  does she like it?"

not that i'm justifying my behaviour by my three year old daughter's behaviour...  but she deserves to be yelled at during can skate i think...  ;)

i was out yelled during hockey this spring...  horribly out yelled...  and i didn't know what to do with it...  i actually had to re-assess cheering and how to cheer... it caused me to take a breather and think to myself "does anyone need to yell - 'watch that cherry-picker' 26 times in a game?"   

so as i'm listening to the parents that were able to out-yell me... 

the different styles, voice patterns, hockey term usage, repetition...  i got thinking...  

yellers only yell if they can be the top yeller...  or at least in the mix...  

if you are way 'out matched' yelling you just get silent...  

also...  instead of videoing my child out on the ice, what if i videoed the yelling and we had 'tape sessions' to go over how we could improve the yelling, maybe take it to a different level...  and in some cases tone down the amount of veins that pop out on men's necks as they yell...  

one of the best was when i saw the 'look of death' shot out to a child from his parent...  i'll never forget this look...  just so you can get a mental picture...   

- eyes blood shot (common at hockey tournaments in winnipeg)

- veins at a Sylvester Stallone level on the neck and forehead

- eyes squinting ever so slightly... the left eye twitching...

- head slowly going in a back and forth shake... like there has never been anything more dissapointing than loosing that face-off....

- the lips (needing some chapstick in the worst way) 'mouthing' in slow motion words like 

'you... better... not... want... a.... ride... home...'

- after the slow motion...  a blood curtailing scream 'GET GOING'...  still sends chills up my spine... 

this was all very shocking...  until i realized that the glass on the boards at this rink was just cleaned far better than i was used to and here it was a reflection of myself and everyone was starring at me.... 

OK....  so i'm teasing about some of this...

conclusion...  

so... unless there are a few out screaming me and i just get quiet...  which can happen...  

because i realize my cheer would sound like a small kitten's noises (i like to imagine those noises) in comparison... i do like to feel like i went to a game and cheered... out loud...  

if i'm with a rather 'quiet' crowd....  you will hear alot of ...

"hurry"

"go hard"

oh wait... these are my curling cheers... right, hockey...

"go hard" (i believe this applies in any sport apparently)

"let's go stars"

"give me an S... (silence)... give me a T... (silence)...  give me an A... (2 people move to a different section)... give me a R (i see one lady slip some bailey's into her coffee and roll her eyes)... what does that spell??? (this is when a few giggle and yell STAR...  because i've forgotten the S at the end)..."

"don't humiliate your family name" (like what they are doing on the ice could do any more damage than what i've already done in the stands)

"two hands on your stick"

"one hand on your stick... and then two.."

"win the draw to beater..." (i've found alot of hockey players have nicknames... sometimes i say them wrong)

"what do you want to eat after the game is over???"

i've decided... i don't need to yell less...  i need to sit alone...